I'm Trying

Jan 15, 2009

Do you know how anxious I am now? I've gotta finish a novel, and publish it. How do I publish it when my dad doesn't own HarperCollins?! Can anyone help me? Please... I wanna do this. I have to. By... May? Yeah. May's - wait, no - March is my deadline!! Wow. I'm trying ssoooo hard to finish this!! But it's hard too... I mean, everything... I gotta do EVERYTHING.

You know why I love to write stories? Well, I like the idea of being control of everything - everything my characters say, do and what happens to them, you know? And the best part is when your characters have their own life. It's like you're not even in control of them anymore. They just... they do what they want. They develop their own characteristics and just become themselves. Then you just have control over what happens to them. But after that you start to hurt... because you know that you've gotta make something bad happen to them, for the readers, but you can't bear to do it because they're your creation... but you're forced to. It's either sacrifice them or your dream, but you choose them because you can make it up to them by giving them a happy ending... Ah, happy endings. Well, ______, you've gotta suffer big time before I can give you a happy ending!!

Haha random, ain't it? Haha, I'm an insane girl.

Ahh, my sexy David... that shirt... so thin... intoxicating!!! That shirt... with that V-neck. Wow... gorgeousness. I asked TG whether David would ever do a shirtless photoshoot and she said 'never'... that pretty much upset me. Haha so much different from Zac. Zac would whip it off and dance around if you asked him to- and OMG did I just say that?! Oh well, there's no law against that, is there? Ahh, shirtless Zac pics... LOL you'll never see that happening to David. He's way too modest to do that. Did you know that he swims with all his clothes on? Seriously, that boy is wack. Haha for some reason I can think of 20+ people who'd love to see him shirtless... Haha sorry people!! I know that probably was too insane for you... Haha. Trust me, you haven't seen anything yet... try mentioning church slacks to any Archie, who'll blush, giggle, and change the topic. Ahaha, church slacks. Good times, good times. Boy did we keep the MODS busy!!! Haha, you don't need to know anything about that *ninja*.

Hey, ever seen Jason Castro shirtless? I have... seen too many pics of that, LOL. Ahh... Zac's nicer. Oopsies... see what happens when I'm my own MOD? Bad, bad things happen. Oh well, I like it this way anyway. Crazy.

Whatever, I don't care if you read this... it's MEANT to be read!! Haha. Insanity. Sorry if you think I should be more... err... PG13, though I think this is but you may think otherwise. Sorry... I told you I was insane!! Not my fault if you don't believe me!!!

Haha I gotta go. Bye!!!