Not So

Dec 22, 2009 in , ,

A/N: The character Ritchie's name is a friend's name who lent me his name instead of me searching for 45 mins for a good male name. The character in no way depicts the real person's personality, and this entire piece is completely and utterly fiction. Also, I'll probably put up a banner when I've got time.

This fanfic is based on 2 songs. The first half is based on Jesse McCartney's Right Where You Want Me, and the second half is based on David Archuleta's Let Me Go.

I've always wanted to experiment with this love/hate sorta thing, but this is one of my first attempts, so excuse moi if it's not that great. Also, about the bar thing, excuse moi again, but I always liked starting stories off there.

Rated N17 for mild language. That's right - I'm not allowed to read my own story.

Hope you like it!! :)

Not So


Ritchie snapped out of a recap of his Friday to look at the scruffy bartender with a raised eyebrow.

“Your martini sir,” he replied, indicating to the glass in on the marble counter.

“Oh. Thanks.”

He turned around to walk away, but a tug on his rolled up sleeves stopped him.

“Sir? Are you going to pay?”

“Oh, sorry. What was the cost again?” he asked distractedly, but before Alex – or at least that’s what Ritchie thought his scratched nametag read – could reply, he tossed the money to him.

He sauntered off to find somewhere to spend what was left of this day, and probably some of the next. But just as he was about to lean on the side of a wall, he saw an old friend of his - Mandy.

“Hey, mind if I sit down?”
“Actually, I do mind. I’ve had one hell of a day and the last thing I need is someone bothering me.”

Ritchie smiled when he saw the familiar crease that always showed in her forehead when she was stressed – or, in this case, annoyed. She hadn’t changed a bit, personality wise, even though she looked nothing like the gangly, freckled-faced 14-year-old girl he knew.

Girl, there’s something ‘bout me you ought to know,
Always held it back and played it slow,
But not this time…

He grinned nonchalantly and sat down all the same.

“So, how have you been, Dy?” he asked, taking a big gulp from his glass.

“I told you not to call me that,” she said through gritted teeth, glaring at him from the corner of a bloodshot eye.

Ritchie smiled as memories of her hitting him flooded back, and titled the rest of the contents of his glass into his mouth and swallowed.

Baby, take me on a journey
I've been thinking lately
I could use a little time alone with you…

Mandy sighed and looked him in the eye. "What is it that you want?”

“Oh, nothing. I just figured I’d come over here, waste the rest of the night… That is, until I saw you,” he replied, winking at the end.

Crazy, let's do something, maybe.
Please don't take your time,
You got me,
Right where you want me…

“You do realize I’m not in the best mood right now, right?” she said, with a raised eyebrow.

“And what is it exactly that’s bothering you?” he asked.

“Well, for starters, you,” she began. “Then, of course, there’s the fact that my boyfriend – no – my fiancĂ© of 3 freaking long years broke up with me over a damn phone call!”

She paused to inhale a long breath from the cigarette she was holding.

“All the douche said was that he was moving. Nothing else! Not even a goodbye or anything.”

“Ah, and now you’ve got a broken heart, I suppose? Came here to forget about him,” Ritchie said, interrupting her rant. “Find a new guy, make him jealous.”

“Good guess,” said Mandy, pouring a bit of whatever it was she was drinking into her mouth. “But no. Someone who breaks a relationship like the one we had over a mere phone call doesn’t deserve any tears,” she concluded.

“Well, what do you say,” started Ritchie. “You come with me? We can go somewhere – anywhere. We can drive to another state for all you want.”

Baby, take me on a journey.
I've been thinking lately,
I could use a little time alone with you…

She stared at him incredulously, but he stayed where he was, never moving beyond the slow, constant rise and fall of his chest.

“You know what? That sounds good. Let’s go!”
“What?! Now?”

It was Ritchie’s turn to look at Mandy like she was crazy this time.

“Look, you wanna go or not?”

Mandy tapped the table twice with her carefully manicured nails and looked at him impatiently, then grabbed her sleek leather bag.

“I see someone’s impatient to leave,” said Ritchie, with a sly twinkle in his eye. “Excellent.”

“What now?”

“Stupid engine won’t turn on.” Ritchie growled under his breath.

You were the keys to the car
Now I'm just trying to make it start
Can't you see these highs and lows?
Take us down and slowly take their toll
Misguided, I don't know where we're headed
Tell me now 'cause…

“Try kicking it,” replied Mandy, annoyed, and got out of the car to kick it herself.

Ritchie pressed down on the accelerator to make it go once, but nothing happened. He pressed down on it a second time, but harder, and the engine reared to life

“So, where are we going?” he asked as he backed out of the car park.

“Palm Springs.”
“You do realize that California is 2 and a half states away, right?”

Mandy lowered her sunglasses to look at him. “You said we could go wherever I want. If we can’t go there, I’m outta here.”

“That’s true,” he replied. “But I don’t know how to get to Palm Springs!”

“So?” she shrugged. “Just follow the signs.”

She unwrapped a bubble gum, popped it into her mouth, and threw the wrapper onto the car floor.

“Hey. Watch that,” he said, but she ignored him and began chewing.


7 and a half hours later, they were still driving, but were driving through the sunny state of California by this time.

“I said turn left, dammit!” yelled Mandy. “See what you did?! We missed the turn!!”

“Well you could’ve pointed it out sooner,” Ritchie hissed back.

“You’re the one that’s driving! It’s not my job to look out for signs as big as a truck!” she said, attempting – and succeeding – to placing all the blame on him. “Now what?”

She slumped into her seat and stared blankly out of the window.

'Round, 'round and 'round we go
And when it stops you say you don't know
But each time I try to stop this ride
You say it's not time...

“I say, we keep on going and head to San Diego, hmm?” he replied, leaning towards her. “I heard it’s a beautiful place…” he paused, and looked down for a moment. “Almost as beautiful as you.”

But immediately as those words left his lips, he regretted them when Mandy gave him a death glare and leaned her face closer to his.

“Just so you know,” she began. He could feel her cool breath on his face, and her words echoed softly against his lips. “That’s what my ex told me the night we met.”

Her wavy auburn hair brushed gently over his face as she turned away from him and Ritchie placed his focus back on the road.


This heart
My dreams
Have been taken down too far it seems
So hold tight
While I let me go
While I let me go…

“You know, there’s something I always wanted to tell you, way back in middle school,” started Ritchie, saying each word with slow deliberation.

He waited for her answer, for her voice to break the silence, and he counted the seconds with each lamppost that passed, but she ignored him, and continued to stare out of her window.

So much I need to say
Then the truth gets in the way…

Ritchie stared fixedly at the road, and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, though to what, he didn’t know. Mandy sat with her arms crossed firmly across her chest, and her head was tilted backwards, her eyes closed.

“I’m sorry Dy,” began Ritchie again, and Mandy still ignored him. “I’m sorry because I didn’t tell you something, all those years ago. I’m sorry because we fought, and I’m sorry that we never really made up.”

“I’m sorry that I broke your heart,” he ended, whispering softly.

Mandy turned towards him.

“Oh yeah?! Why weren’t you sorry 8 years ago?! Do you know how much I loved you? Loved; as in, I did,” she replied, the fury in her voice piercing into him. “You just broke it off like that. You’re no better than my ex. You know what? You’re just like him.”

You cry me another one
And watch my words just come undone
Can't you see these lows and highs?
Tangled up, separating all our ties
Misguided, I can't find the way back in
So, maybe it's goodbye…

“The only reason I’m here, is because I thought…” she paused her a while and shrugged, playing with her fingers. “I thought that maybe you’d changed.”

For a second, it was evident in her eyes how much he’d hurt her, and all those lonely nights spent in tears could be seen, just by looking into her eyes. But then, she suddenly snapped back, a rubber band into its original form.

“But I was wrong. You haven’t. Your sorry doesn’t mean anything to me now Ritchie.” She started to shake her head. “You’re too late.

This heart (This heart)
My dreams (My dreams)
Have been taken down too far it seems
So hold tight (Hold tight)
While I let me go
While I let me go…


“Get out,” he ordered her.

“And I’d listen to what you’ll say, because…?” she shot back at him.

“Just get out, Dy. I know this place,” he said in reply, grinning that boyish grin that she recognized all too well.

She rolled her eyes at his turned back and followed him into the forest.

“Huh. This is actually kind of nice,” she murmured a few minutes later, when they were far enough that Ritchie’s silver SUV could no longer be seen. Though why he would need that kind of car was beyond her.

“What did you say?” he asked.

She shook her head and marveled at the scenery that slowly passed them with every crunch in the leaves. The trees wove their branches around in the cool breeze, each little shudder causing a browned and cracked leaf to fall to its demise amongst the others that lay withered on the forest floor.

Autumn, had indeed arrived.

But if you take a look around
You could really warm it up and you know (Always told you so)…

They walked side by side, in silence. The birds chirped at each other, and the wind whipped around them.

“Just a little bit further, Dy. Close your eyes,” said Ritchie, breaking the silence.

“Close my eyes?! Why would-“

Mandy began to protest, but it was too late; Ritchie already placed his hands around her eyes, and her vision of the forest disappeared. She bit down hard on her lip, as she fought every cell in her body that screamed out at her to yell at him until someone – preferably him – went deaf.

“Now, open,” he whispered softly into her ears. Shivers ran down her spine, though she tried her best to deny it.

“How can I when-“ she started, when she snapped out of her daze.

His fingers released their clasp from around her eyes slowly; revealing one ray of the evening sun at a time. She squinted, when the sun shone in her eyes, but opened them wide when she saw the lake that was in front of them.

They stood just a few meters away from the rocky edge, and the sun cast an orange shadow against the glistening surface of the water. Mandy’s focus ran when a little puddle appeared towards the middle of the lake as a branch cracked and fell into it.

“Dy, about what I said earlier, I-“
“Just stop. Stop. I’m sorry too, Ritchie. But I miss you. I wish so much that I didn’t, but I do.”

“As do I,” he murmured softly, taking a step closer to her.

“So, what do we do now?” she asked, closing the 12-inch gap that had remained between them.

“How about this?”

Ritchie leaned in towards Mandy, and tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear. Her breathing became uneven, the closer his lips came to hers. Here, in their little piece of paradise on earth, she felt vulnerable, and not the cold, independent woman she presented to the world. Here, she was the young, innocent girl whose heart he’d broken years ago. The same girl, whose heart he was about to heal.

2 Comments So Far:

Himmat Singh said...

An ingenious piece of writing. SOmething distinctive about ur short story is that it is filled with pure sentimental emotions, a rarity these days.

Alicia said...

Aww, thanks! I'm glad you liked it. :)