Here I Go...

Jul 8, 2010 in

Ok, here we go… I haven't done this whole open and honest thing on my blog in quite a while… And I guess there's a reason. But this seems just as good a time as any to do this. Plus, it'll be good to let it all out for once. Let it all out… into the worldwide web. Yeah, this could be good for me. Maybe. Besides, there's always the delete button.

But somehow, blogging this also seems right. It just brings me back to '08. Back when I'd post when I had nice conversations, when I ate cherries; everything. It'll feel like I'm coming full circle if I press that shiny, orange "Publish Post" button. I don't know if I'll ever regret posting this, or if I'll regret it the moment I sign off. But… I will, anyway.

It sort of seems idiotic to be typing this right now to me. I don't know… but hey, I'm not going to name names, right? I should just get it out and get over it. Or I could just delete everything right now and forget I even started this post Forget, forget, forget. But I can't. I don't even know which is more scary: remembering forever, or forgetting. Right now, they both seem just as bad.

So, I probably do some explaining. *Big breath* ok. The term "crush", right now, feels inadequate. It feels silly, it feels small, and it feels like I'm 8 all over again. But for lack of a better word, I'll use it. But the problem - because there's always this big problem with these things - is that… I don't know. Well, I do, but typing it up here just doesn't feel right. Like I said, it feels idiotic typing all this. The only bit that sort of makes me feel better, is that I'm pretty sure he's not going to read this, ever.

I've got this one… thing. If it goes through, it could make or break whatever *gulp* feelings it is that I may or may not have. So, here we go...